I’m Shinasa, a South Asian PhD researcher studying addiction recovery, culture, and stigma among ethnic-minority women in the UK. My work sits at the intersection of addiction, identity, gender, and community. I care about emotional wellbeing and social justice and empowering people to share their stories.

When I started my PhD, I thought the hardest part would be the writing. But the real challenge was carrying other people’s pain while trying to hold on to my own sense of self. My research explores the recovery journeys of South Asian and African Caribbean women who live in communities where silence is survival, where honour decides a woman’s fate, and where addiction is denied, hidden, or punished.

I didn’t expect their stories to crack me open. I didn’t expect them to heal me. Nor did I expect them to teach me how to speak again. And yet, here I am using my voice. I am writing this to reflect on what happens to researchers when we sit with trauma, silence, and responsibility, and how our own wellbeing is shaped along the way.

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