Month: November 2025

Losing Belonging, Value, and Financial Safety to Motherhood: An International Student’s PhD Story by Joyce Vromen 

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In the early stages of my PhD, I felt like I belonged. With not just hard work and passion carrying me through, but the sense of fitting the system being like cycling with the wind in your back. I arrived as a motivated international PhD student on the other side of the world, full of ambition and excitement, eager to prove myself, contribute, and learn. 

I had grown up in The Netherlands with a keen interest in human behaviour and cognition. I completed my bachelor degree at the Radboud University Nijmegen and then went on to complete a highly competitive 2-year research master degree cum laude at the University of Amsterdam. As part of this latter program, I first ended up in Australia, interning in a university research lab. Looking back now, I would describe my young self as bright, ambitious, and adventurous. These days, being a mother to two teenage daughters, I can’t help but feel quite fond of and protective towards this young woman.  

What I didn’t imagine was becoming a mother of twins in the middle of my PhD – and how quickly that would unravel my academic identity, financial independence, and mental wellbeing. I eventually developed depression in the aftermath of my PhD, psychotic depression to be precise. The main signs were extreme tiredness, low energy levels, cynicism, feelings of excessive self-doubt, impostor feelings, and for short bursts during periods of depression, experiences of delusions and hallucinations centring around not being good enough. It all felt very confusing and overwhelming and I initially experienced intense shame over my mental health status. Especially around my psychotic symptoms. I had internalized society its strong stigma still associated with such mental health challenges and it compounded my feelings of being an outsider and failure.

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Living with Chronic Illness in Academia: How MS Transformed My Understanding of Relationships and Support by Ronan Carbery

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Multiple sclerosis (MS) entered my life in 2013 with my wife’s diagnosis. We spent time learning to manage the condition and moved to another city to be able to draw on family support while understanding the nature of the disease. This learning curve steepened dramatically when cancer complicated her condition in 2015, leading to two years of treatment that pushed MS management into the background. When she achieved remission, we thought we’d found our new normal.

In 2023, ten years after her diagnosis, I learned I had MS too. I went from being a supportive partner to someone living with the condition myself. The medical reality was compounded by the psychological weight of uncertainty about career sustainability and whether I could maintain the professional identity I had spent years building. The persistent worry was whether disclosing this would mark me as damaged goods, potentially derailing any chance of promotion or career advancement.  This has prompted two years of reflection on my part on how chronic illness changes not just what we do as academics, but how we relate to the colleagues who make that work possible.

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