Are you a stressed academic, feeling the weight of constant pressure and burnout looming over you? I understand—I’ve been there. My journey as a cancer scientist led me to a place of exhaustion until I discovered the transformative power of yoga.

In this blog, I invite you to join me as I recount my experiences in academia. My aim is to share my story and hopefully inspire you to prioritize your wellbeing. Take a step back, pause, and care for yourself. Through yoga, I found a path to rejuvenation and resilience, and I am eager to share these insights with you.

Let’s foster a culture of self-care and strength in academia – one where everyone can flourish and shine brightly in their pursuit of knowledge and innovation. In this blog, I use the metaphor of a caterpillar to describe my journey through burnout and recovery. Like a caterpillar weighed down by exhaustion, I entered a cocoon of recovery during my sick leave, where I discovered yoga and began to heal. Emerging as a butterfly, I transformed my experience into a meaningful career, combining cancer research and yoga therapy.

The Caterpillar Phase: My Experience of Burnout

On a Monday morning in early January 2022, after dropping off my daughter at daycare, I decided to drive back home instead of heading to work. I felt unwell with a light headache and nausea. For several months already, my energy had been low, and I had lost enthusiasm for work. That morning, something inside me said it was time to take a break and care for myself. It was clear that continuing the same path was unsustainable. This realization marked the beginning of my journey toward recovery and transformation. A milestone? A turning point? A moment of truth? Perhaps all these words apply.

Before being sidelined by burnout, my journey as a scientist had been dynamic and fulfilling. After achieving my PhD in Medical Sciences with specialization in radiation oncology in Belgium in 2013, I moved to Sweden for postdoctoral training. There, I was eager to continue my translational cancer research, building on my PhD work. During my postdoc with Professor Pernilla Wittung-Stafshede at Chalmers University of Technology, I felt especially motivated and passionate about my work, approaching problems from an out-of-the-box perspective. I was hardworking and driven to make a difference in the field. I felt well-supported in both my career and personal life, which gave me the confidence to take the next step and become a mom. 

In the Fall of 2020, I left my current position, to take a prestigious job in New York. I was excited to contribute my expertise in copper cancer metabolism to a promising project with potential cure for cancer patients. However, the Covid-19 pandemic brought uncertainty to my plans. After months of waiting and navigating special travel procedures, I finally left Sweden with my 3-year-old daughter. I felt relieved yet exhausted. The supportive environment at my new job initially energized me, but I struggled to replicate a pivotal experiment, which gave me significant stress. I felt stuck and I decided to return to Sweden earlier than planned. With support of philanthropic funding, I found a new two-year scientist position in cancer research. Despite thinking I had overcome the challenges, I was immediately advised to apply for more funding, which overwhelmed me. The work environment did not meet my needs, and my health deteriorated, culminating in a Covid-19 infection. I felt weak physically and mentally. Also, I remember that I had to exert more effort for cognitive tasks like calculations, I was highly sensitive to specific noises in the workspace, and I reacted more strongly when something was not going my way. Feeling out of place, I sought help from a coach (Déborah Rupert) who I met earlier in my career and who emphasized work-life balance in academia. Following her advice and friends’ encouragement, I contacted the university’s healthcare service and discovered I was burned out.

Suddenly I found myself stuck at home on my sofa. The doctor initially gave me a one-week sick leave, advising rest and short daily walks. My condition was evaluated weekly, then biweekly, and eventually monthly. I felt exhausted but once I allowed myself to slow down and rest, more symptoms arose. Physically, I experienced headaches, muscle pains, and fevers, much like a strong flu. I became extremely sensitive to noise and light, unable to read a page or watch a TV series. Planning even short-term tasks caused intense stress and became impossible, as my brain seemed to lose the capacity to filter and digest information. This was my burnout at its worst. While symptoms can vary greatly from person to person, I experienced a peculiar paradox: despite being unwell, I simultaneously felt relieved. as I finally had the space to breathe and heal!

The Cocooning Phase: My Recovery

During my sick leave, I kept in touch with my university including the human resource manager and the head of the department, as well as the associated health care service Avonova, which included a medical doctor, psychologist, and rehabilitation coordinator. While my workplace gave me the space, time, and motivation by being positive about my return, Avonova provided advice, such as daily walks and rest, sleeping medication and cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) for my recovery. Importantly, I received financial support through Försäkringskassan, the Swedish health care insurance. Also, I kept in contact with my previous boss and mentor Professor Pernilla Wittung-Stafshede, with whom I felt safe, supported, and understood. 

It soon became clear to me that I was in a very vulnerable state. I could only start recovering by making small steps in the outside world that felt right. My burnout, and the resulting vulnerability, served as a guide, supporting me to walk my most authentic path. The company of my daughter along the way, while still being very young and “fresh” in this world, helped me a lot in seeing what is most important – she has helped me to have a healthy perspective and approach towards life.

I regularly went for forest walks, embracing nature. I remember how these walks were incredibly relaxing and reenergizing. I also became a member of Hagabadet, a well-known spa house in central Gothenburg with pools, saunas, relaxation rooms, and yoga classes. 

I discovered yoga during my time as a PhD candidate when a physiotherapist recommended it for my stress-related back pain. I regularly attended yoga classes, and not only did they relieve my back pain, but they also made me feel more grounded, relaxed, and present in myself.

In January 2020, I finally participated in a yoga retreat. My daughter just turned 3 years old, and the past years had been intense with all the changes that becoming a mom brings. I felt a deep desire to refuel myself with a full week of yoga. This week-long retreat on the Canary Island of Tenerife turned out to be a game-changer and sparked my passion for yoga. Daily yoga practices were combined with nature walks, delicious food, and other activities that promoted a reconnection with my true, authentic, happy self. Returning home, I felt fully recharged, and to support my personal growth and wellbeing, I began incorporating more yoga-related activities into my daily life, like nature walks, yoga classes, and healthy eating.  

I returned to Tenerife several times to connect with nature and myself, which greatly aided my recovery process. I also started practicing more yoga at home again. I found that guided meditations were particularly helpful in finding peace and navigating my day-to-day life. From this peaceful place inside of me, I slowly started to feel better, and I felt my confidence growing to move forward, connecting, and expressing myself in the outside world. 

I reached out to my coach Déborah again and slowly started taking coaching sessions. We gained clarity about my personal values and then mapped out my work and life trajectories. These exercises made me realize again how much I was disconnected from my true self and identify what steps I could take to navigate towards a more fulfilling life. I was reminded of my passion for sports and especially dance and my wish to study physiotherapy. These realizations explained my strong affinity for yoga and made me start envisioning what my future professional life could look like.

While still on sick leave, I was encouraged to explore yoga, and I joined a yoga teacher training course – this was a 3-week-long course with Green Yoga International in Mallorca (truly, it was a bootcamp!) It was both physically and mentally challenging, and at times I thought of quitting; but at the same time, it felt incredibly good and right. We were in a community of like-minded people sharing the experience, served healthy vegetarian mails, located in a beautiful ashram (nature), challenged physically, emotionally, and mentally, going through powerful vinyasa and ashtanga yoga classes but also relaxing yin yoga classes. I felt in the right place, and I will never forget how rejuvenated I felt afterwards. I felt reborn, experiencing a level of wellbeing in my whole body that I had never felt in my adult life. Interestingly, these experiences not only awakened the yoga teacher in me, but also the scientist in me was sparked by the scientific facts shared during the course about the healing power of yoga.  

The Butterfly Phase: My Transformation

I gradually started returning to work. During my first months at 25%, towards 50% for several months and up to 75% working time towards the end of my contract. Luckily, I was still partially on sick leave, which gave me the extra time I still needed to take care of myself. I could continue as a scientist in another lab within the same department. This new place felt very welcoming to me and was also more calm and less competitive than before. I needed such a peaceful environment to return to work.

After the Christmas holidays I returned to work, and I was sitting at my office desk pondering my next steps in science. I was eager to identify a project that could leverage my expertise and contribute to the lab’s goals. Soon I came across a podcast by the lab’s leader, Eva Angenete, an oncologist. She emphasized the importance of physical activity in the recovery of cancer patients. As my passion for yoga was flourishing in these times, an idea sparked within me: “Why not study yoga as exercise for cancer patients?” This was a moment of truth, a moment of profound euphoria. It felt as though all the stars had aligned. More and more, I realized that this was foundational on my new path. The concept of integrating yoga into cancer recovery was not only exciting but also deeply meaningful. Studying yoga therapy would support and motivate me to keep taking care of myself, a priority, while using my skills and experiences as a cancer scientist and yoga teacher with the aim of making a difference in the care for cancer patients.

In my mission to bring new solutions to cancer patients, I started investigating yoga therapy. I felt very happy, energized, and creative. However, I still had to be careful and take extra care of myself due to the burnout symptoms flaring up if I worked too much. To counterbalance the long hours at work, I regularly took breaks with peaceful walks in the nearby park and short mindfulness exercises. I was mostly catching up on the field of yoga therapy for cancer patients by online research and reading and reaching out to colleagues at work and professionals who shared the same vision far away as Harvard to discuss the topic. I quickly learned that yoga therapy and yoga therapy research are promising but not yet well-represented in Europe. Thus, any effort in this direction would be meaningful.

I came across MediYoga®, a yoga program founded in Sweden and implemented in over 350 healthcare places across the country. I decided to take the MediYoga® instructor training and I was allowed to do it during my working hours. As I thought, it would allow me to take care of myself while learning about this yoga program that is already present in Swedish rehabilitation centers. Also, I believed that this would be a great opportunity if I wanted to contribute to yoga research in the future. Participating in this course brought me everything I wished for. I learned that MediYoga® is kundalini-based practice which aims to awaken and elevate dormant energy within the body through postures, breathwork, and meditation, focusing on achieving relaxation and stress relief. Importantly, I realized that stress management was crucial not only for my further recovery from burnout, but it also could be key in the recovery and wellbeing of cancer patients. 

Last year, my two-year contract as senior scientist at the university ended, but my passion for and my efforts towards integrating yoga therapy for cancer patients continued. I feel as though I am on a mission, seeing my vision slowly becoming reality. Recently, my review on ‘Yoga therapy for cancer patients’ was published in the Karger journal ‘Complementary Medicine Research’. For the future, I envision continuing to share yoga and contribute to yoga therapy research. I aim to collaborate closely with the hospital (oncology) and the university (academia) on this journey. 

Conclusion

To conclude this blog, I’d like to share some overarching lessons from my journey as an academic facing burnout:

• Acknowledge the need for a break and listen to your body’s signals. Taking time off to rest and recover is not only necessary but also courageous.
• Recovery is a gradual process; take small, manageable steps and be kind to yourself along the way
• Seek help from healthcare professionals, coaches, mentors, and those who care about you.
• Consider incorporating a mind-body practice to support your recovery and wellbeing.
• Give yourself time to reconnect with yourself, fostering inner peace and personal growth.
• Embrace the vulnerability that comes with taking time to recover from burnout, allowing it to guide you toward a more authentic path in both life and work.
• Reflect on the underlying causes of your burnout and consider making meaningful, long-term changes that align with your values and promote lasting wellbeing.

Finally, I want to express my gratitude to everyone who has supported me along the way. I needed your support. My daughter, family and friends, mentors, coaches, yoga teachers and many more – each one of you has one thing in common: You inspired me. Your light in this world has fueled my inner fire to walk my path. 

For those of you, who know your current situation doesn’t feel right, but you are not quite sure what is next – it is never too late to find a new path.

“Science is what we identify from the spiritual realms, and yoga helps us to realize this connection.”

Dr. Stéphanie Blockhuys is a dedicated cancer scientist and medicinal yoga teacher supporting the integration of yoga therapy into cancer care. With a PhD in Medical Sciences and extensive research experience at research institutions, she now focuses on holistic approaches to cancer recovery. Her transformative journey from burnout to wellbeing inspired her to combine her scientific expertise with yoga therapy. She also engages in lifting awareness about burnout in academia and the possible tool of Yoga to transform and heal.

This blog is kindly sponsored by G-Research