The open conversations around mental health in society today represent huge progress in comparison to even ten or twenty years ago. I am especially in awe of the academics who present their struggles publicly (such as in blog posts here) and find this absolutely crucial for the health of our field. Reading their stories has made a difference to me and helped me feel less alone.

In this blog post though, I want to offer some support for those who can’t or don’t want to talk about their mental health. An important message should be: That’s okay too. As long as we’re talking to someone, we don’t have to talk to everyone. Based on my personal experience, this is an even more important message for people trying to support someone who is struggling. Public health initiatives encourage us to ask “Are you okay?”. The idea is to give people an opening to talk, but for a person in distress, it can feel like the burden is being put on them to reassure others. This was my experience during an event I wasn’t able to talk about and instead of helping me, it forced me into isolation. Sometimes, asking others if they are okay can be problematic—even unhelpful—and we need to be aware that we might have to adjust our strategy if someone is not responding.